When I was younger, we would talk about the stages of grief like a mathematical equation. Putting logical reasoning to the feelings that felt the most unreasonable. Throughout my life I have been face-to-face with grief more times than I want to admit. Losing someone or something takes a whole-hearted tole on your world and it's hard knowing the right steps for healing.
Last month I lost my lovable golden retriever to cancer. The news that he was sick, hit me like a ton of bricks and I rushed back to my hometown in hopes to say one last goodbye. You see, my dog was very special. I adopted Ryder into my life when I was in the market for a therapy dog and he ended up bringing so much more. He was complicated to say the least. He needed extra tender loving care to help nurse him back to health after being found on the streets with little to no hair.
I went into full-force mother mode and starting feeding him specialized meals, giving him specialized baths and everything you could imagine to get this pup back to his golden self. You could say, this was my first "test" to see if motherhood was for me. And let's just say, I think I passed. He left this world a happy and healthy boy and I am so blessed that I was the one who was able to give him a second chance.
It's unimaginable the heartbreak that comes with loss. You can never be prepared for the leftover hole in your heart or space in your home that someone has left behind after passing away. But I am writing this blog post specifically because I know my loved ones are going through grief, just as I am.
I think the one thing I've learned about grief, is to allow yourself the space to not be okay and to allow yourself to feel the sadness. If these wounds are left unattended, it can build and become a bigger mess later down the road. Asking for help or leaning on others for support is the one thing to never be ashamed about. Admitting your vulnerability allows us to connect and understand each other during these heart aches. These are just a few tips that have helped me get through the grey of this past month.
I am so thankful for the support I have had these past couple of weeks from everyone! I also owe a huge thank you to the ones who were there to help me stay creative. I have been planning photo shoots with Michelle from FiftyTwoThursdays and I am so blessed that she has constantly co-created these fun shoots with me. I wanted to express "grey" moments in a shoot and we were able to plan out a shoot on Melrose on a rainy Saturday morning.
Sunglasses: Ray Ban